The Butterfly Girl

We all have days when we look in the mirror and dislike what is reflected back at us. But imagine having an illness that causes you to see a completely distorted reflection of yourself: the person in front of the mirror might be extremely good looking, but their state of mind dictates that they see a flawed and deformed image of themselves. Looking at stunning Racheal Baughan today, it is hard to believe that she could ever see herself as anything but attractive - but the illness BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) is both powerful and destructive. Despite being brought up in a loving and caring family, from an early age Racheal felt that she was different from other children. By her early teens, she had already started to develop acute anxieties about her appearance and took comfort form wearing excessive make-up, which, for her, acted like a mask. Then, at thirteen, she experience a life-shattering tragedy when her best friend died suddenly in an accident. Racheal spiralled downward into deep depression: her guilt and self-loathing threatened to overwhelm her and lead to several attempts to take her own life. She began to spend hours alone in her room and became increasingly distresses about the distorted reflection of her face. The though of having to leave her bedroom without layers of make-up or the veil with which she covered her face triggered severe panic attacks and, already showing signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder, she began to inhale aerosols, self-harm and eventually developed an eating disorder. The turning point for Racheal came when her desperate mother made her participate in a television discussion show. An expert identified Racheal's problems as BDD and it became clear that she was far from alone in her suffering. By helping others with similar problems, Rachael's confidence slowly began to grow and, in 2004, her mother secretly sent her daughter's photograph into the Miss England organisers. Racheal became a finalist in the competition and, in this most daunting test of her recovery, accepted the challenge to face her ultimate fear. Although recovery form severe BDD may never be complete, Racheal has truly moved on with her life. She is now a strong, happy and confident young woman who runs her own successful modelling agency and works tirelessly to help others with BDD and similar illnesses. In this, her own true story, Racheal bares her soul and reveals how she has struggled to come to terms with BDD, as well as revealing her adventures and behind-the-scenes gossip from the world of modelling. This is a compelling book that is heart-rendering and inspiring in equal measure and offers hope to anyone battling to overcome similar difficulties.

Racheal Baughan is 26 and lives in Crawley, West Sussex. She has recently started her own modelling agency, True Model Media, for which she will only take girls of healthy body weight, and which she also uses as a platform to campaign against the modelling industry's promotion of underweight models. Over the last nine years, Racheal has been interviewed for numerous newspapers and magazine articles as well as having talked on television and radio programmes about Body Dysmorphic Disorder and about her participation in the Miss England and Miss Great Britain competitions. She recently made her, very successful, debut as host and compere, for the Miss Limo competition. She is currently talking part in filming for two television programmes that will increase the public's awareness of BDD.